Team Monster
by ToBetasered
Summary: A One shot story dealing with an alliance of Naruto Juugo and Kimimaro. Based off of a story idea by Kojiro kun.


**Team Monster**

**Disclaimer: This is a Naruto fanfiction Naruto is the original work of the author Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

_Ever had one of those bad dreams?_

_One of those rare creeping terrors that make you want to scream and scream until your throat was sore?_

_One of the reeealy nasty one, that make you piss yourself in terror only for you to suddenly realize that, 'Hey! It's only a dream!' Only you can't wake up, or when you think you have some shambling horror reaches out from under the bed and goes. **'Psych!'**_

Gato was having one of those dreams.

Only… it wasn't a dream.

"Aahhh!" The thing sitting on his chest sighed in satisfaction.

By thing, Gato was referring to the abomination currently sheathed in the unassuming form of a tanned sixteen year old boy. Blonde hair lifted in the wind in spiky tufts, and his teeth, _oh Gods his teeth…_

The evening had begun pleasantly enough. After another satisfying day at work overseeing his private fiefdom that was Wave Island, making the rounds of his loyal citizens and taking his pick of their wealth and women while having his men beat the dissenters to death, admittedly the grubby peasants were so cowed now by his very presence that his men had needed to grab a few bystanders. Gato had retreated to his home to have his way with his favorite woman, the daughter of that dead bridge builder Tazumawhatever.

_The evening had started out so well…_

That had ended when a hand emerged from under his bed and dragged Tsunami under it. His outraged cries were what alerted Zori and Waraji, those useless fools, that something was amiss.

The two men burst into Gato's room, ready to draw their swords, only to see their employer standing on the bed naked, unharmed and clearly agitated.

"Uh, Boss…" Waraji grunted as his eye panned across the room for trouble. His counterpart Zori was more to the point. "What's the trouble Boss." He asked, nervously waiting for the chance to scrub his eyeballs.

Gato's fat stomach quivered as he stomped on the bed, the movement shaking the gold chains around his neck and caused a ponderous ripple of flesh that traveled all the way down his body from his flabby man-breasts to his deflated penis. "You fools! Kill it! Something's under the bed! Kill it! Kill it!" The merchant screamed.

Gato had just nearly enough time to leap off the bed before the two ronin were on it, stabbing through the mattress to the floor beneath with a gusto. Gato landed on the ground with a huff of exertion that did things to his anatomy that were better left unmentioned. The fat merchant made his way to the wet bar in his room where he hid as the two bodyguards roared and yelled curses and challenges at the intruder.

* * *

Outside, Naruto handed over an unconscious Tsunami to a disgruntled looking Karin. "Now, now" he chided her gently as she reluctantly took a hold of his charge. "You know I can't resist playing the rescuing hero." He smiled at her rosy blush.

"Karin, I'll make it up to you tonight, I promise…"

The girl turned away brusquely so as to hide her fully flaming face, a futile effort as he could see the back of her neck turn red where Tsunami's arm brushed away her hair.

"S-s-shut up!" The kunoichi squeaked before silently bounding away with the last of the women he and his brothers had 'Liberated'.

* * *

At the same time across the Bay from Gato's mansion Kimimaro and Juugo, Naruto's brothers in all but blood, were having a little discussion.

"That does not count for two points." Juugo refuted.

_"You bastards! Get them!"_

"Of course it does…" Kimimaro argued as he twisted away from a spear strike, "His heart was still beating when I removed it, so it counts even if I already cut off his head." A hooked bone jutted out from his elbow and scooped out a portion of the hapless spear wielder's throat. The man flopped on the ground, gasping like a landed fish, a second jab from a sharpened femur ended his unsightly struggle although it forced Kimimaro to leap over a charge from the man's two fearful comrades.

_"Ahh! My arm!" _

_*Clash!* *Chink!*_

_"Ohh! M'leg, where's m'other leg?"_

_"KILLEM!KILLEM!KILLEM!KILLEM!KILLEM!KILLEM!KILLEMMM!"_

Juugo grabbed the heads of both men, his mutated scaly flesh shrugging off arrows and thrown weapons all the while. "No it doesn't." He grunted petulantly, as a piston shaped appendage extended from the back of his forearm at an angle with a hiss. "He was already dead when you cut off his head, even though his heart was beating when you pulled it outta his chest, that's cheating."

_"They killed Kaito! You Bastards!"_

The pistons in Juugo's arms retracted with a soft 'whump'. The result of this was a spray of grey matter and bone fragments that escaped his tightened firsts. Stepping over the headless bodies, his left arm shifted into a ranged combat form, the arrowheads that were once digging into the flesh of his back were now spewed forth with a hiss of air.

_"Gettem! Ooooaaaaahhhhrrggg-erk!"_

As he hosed down the upper levels of the warehouse that served as Gato's troop barracks Juugo grinned. He felt so in balance with himself after meeting Naruto that he couldn't imagine what his life would have been like otherwise.

* * *

Gato hesitantly peered over the bar as his men's battle-cries stopped. It looked like they were going to check under the bed. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the counter he dived back under the bar. For good measure he jabbed the panic button installed there once again. Angrily he wondered where the hell the rest of his men were, if they didn't come soon he was going to make a break for it.

His fingers trembled as they withdrew a stick.

Zori and Waraji weren't hired because they were smart; they were hired by Gato because they liked to cut things up, were good at it, and didn't ask to many questions. So when Gato tild them to kill the monster under his bed they killed it, no questions asked.

Cautiously, they lowered themselves to the floor and looked under the now thoroughly slaughtered bed.

"Um, Boss?" Waraji ventured, head still low to the ground.

"There's nobody down here." Zori finished.

_The closet door silently drifted open._

"What the hell d'ya mean that 'there's nothing there!'? A freaking HAND reached out from under the bed and took my bitch! Where's the whore if there's nothing there?" Gato screamed, only to be met with silence.

"Hey! Are you listen-" Gato bellowed as he again looked over the top of the bar only to be smacked in the face with a cloth covered object. He groveled in the carpet for a moment, clutching at his forehead in pain before his eyes met the grotesque stare of a decapitated Zori.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!"

Scampering backward, Gato's desperate scrambling came to an abrupt end when a giant clawed hand palmed the back of his head and flipped him through the air in a maneuver that very nearly broke his neck. "Waaaaaaaagghh!"

The mattress of Gato's much abused bed creaked ominously as his stocky body landed on it gracelessly. Dazed struggles to rise came to a pained end as a firm weight settled on his midsection with a thump, drawing an explosive breath.

"Who-who-who-wh…" He tried to get out.

Through tear-filled vision he watched a young blond boy lift an unconscious Waraji with one hand, with the other he gently pricked the man's chest with a whitened piece of bone that seemed to extrude from one finger.

There was an almost dainty sucking noise…

_And then Waraji began to deflate._

At the sight Gato again began to struggle, bucking his body in an attempt to shack his assailant off of him. Given the man's nakedness it was an ironic parallel to the evening's planned entertainment as the two struggled in an obscene parody of the act. The bed again creaked ominously, a sound that only barely covered the sound of a straw sucking in air.

The empty husk that was Waraji's body crumbled into dust and Gato's struggles ceased when the boy pinned him to the bed with a deceptively strong hand. He could almost feel his sternum give way slightly as the air left his chest with a wheeze. His vision was darkening as he again tried to speak.

"M-m-Mn-mney!" Gato mumbled, nearly insensate.

"Yes, money; we do want it." The boy answered in an airy tone.

Hope began to rise in Gato's heart that he would live through this ordeal. "I -huff – phay!"

"Yes, you will pay." The monster agreed.

"How urg, much?"

In response, to Gato's question the blonde began to recount a story that filled Gato with dread.

"-and so you see-" He finished, "The jutsu works best when you peel off your target's face with the skin mostly intact before you put it on. But my brothers and I couldn't agree as to the best way to do this." He hummed as Gato turned grey at the gruesome tale. "See Big brother prefers to just scoop out the insides, like so…" Bone claws erupted from the boys arm and he mimed a piston motion. " Starting at the rectum and just shoving everything out, but you gotta be careful y'know else the skin won't separate correctly."

He then shifted his bones to turn if index linger into the same bone tube that had been used to kill Waraji. "Little brother just sucks out the biomass and uses it to take on the target's appearance, but the scents aren't perfect and it always leaves me feeling all bloated." The boy complained with a grin too full of teeth.

Oh Gods those teeth…

"I prefer to use a different way, 'cus my chakra is a little special you see. If I focus it just right I can melt away all that flesh and gristle leaving behind a nice fine pelt." Naruto's grin was most certainly malicious. "Then I can wear you all I want as I empty your accounts."

**The End.**

Omake

Juugo and Kimimaro were listening at the door...

I'm not sleeping with you looking like that!

Hey, c'mon we can play fat business man and his kinky kunouchi wife!

Go F*ck yourself! Perv!

You say that but who's the one sucking on my-

*Chomp*

!

Get over it you big baby, hurry up and grow a new one!

The two outside winced.

* * *

**AN: Answering the Team Monster Challenge/Story Idea from Kojiro kun. It's just a short one-shot really that sparked some interest, don't have the time for much more than that though. **


End file.
